Shoulder Surfing

According to urbandictionary.com, this means "To look over the shoulder(s) of a person with whom you are currently engaged in conversation to see if you can find someone 'better' to talk to."

Now pray tell me, when is the last time we haven't deviated from the current interest at hand? Be it a job, an object of luxurious materialistico, a lover, a friend and sometimes yes even our own self-worth? Im proud to say I shoulder surf most if not all of the time. At least Im honest enough to accept it. What about you? Can you come to terms with it within yourself and say it out loud instead of being pretentious and dedicated to whatever it is you currently fancy? The last thing you need is suffocation within it because as we all know *that* just leads to disinterest.

I live my life like a voyeur. Vicariously through this single, independent, bold, outrightly ferocious woman who I call my friend. If only we could split lives I'd be kicking ass and she'd be changing diapers. And we both would've been more santusht with ourselves mesays. I wish I could go to work, whine about it (and feel great self-worth inside anyway due to my accomplishments), earn my money (though a fraction of what my husband earns) and feel like I am on top of the world, and sleep and wake up at an odd hour that my body dictates not the sound of my baby cooing into my ears - "Mama, dudu".. I wish I could wear indecent clothes, have men brawl over me (believe me there was a time when this unsightly body didn't look this way) and still dance away at a club being totally in the unknown about the number of heartbreaks.. Yes, I'd like to be footloose and fancy-free.. I'd love to be superficial with a care the f!@# attitude..

But then it happens, he comes to me with this incredulous smile as soon as he wakes up in the morning.. Hops on to the couch right next to me and hugs me like I've never felt more comforted ever.. He gives me a kiss on my cheek and wishes me a good morning and looks into my eyes with a twinkle saying I'm ready to have my chocolate milk.. He feels soft, he smells of mothercare moisturizing cream and sweat like his father.. His hair rubs against the palm of my fingers and I just cave.. I don't want to work, I don't care about the brawls.. This is it.. He is my life.. but I still retain the right to 'Shoulder Surf' when I begin to lose interest just so that he can bring me back in.. In to my own life, his life, that I feel treasured and priveleged to be a part of..