All-natural

Look it up!! No not on wikipedia but on urbandictionary.com .. I like all-natural you know? Or maybe its because I'm scared of colon staplin and tummy tucks but nonetheless I like the comfort and luxury in the fact that - I rue your existence, you Barbie looking creature but Im comfortable in my own skin cos 'Im beautiful' and James Blunt said so himself!!

Some 200 channels and more on cable and I couldn't find one to sit through without flipping for over 3 hours.. THAT my dears is the state of merchandising in our retail paradise that we live in.. Quality sucks but variety is in and demand exceeds procurement of products.. Starvation for 'newer and better' results in me running to the DVD store everyday lest I get bored out of my wits and do something stupid say for instance - write an inane entry on to the blog like right now.. (I knew I should've at least mustered the strength to go through the DVD album at home but hey shit happens right?)

My sister-in-law is a cool chick ya'know? The all-natural kinds who used to play sports in school and the kinds who does NOT fit the bill of chuee-muee si.. Its easier to relate to her cos she likes the rough n tough sorts.. of course not someone like Amrita or Rosa for Saif but someone like Kajol who won't sit prim n proper for an entire length of time.. She prefers comfort to fashion and by jove can I ever relate to that.. Im after all the undisputed PYJAMA QUEEN!! After Silly came into existence it took timzi 9 months to get me out of the pyjamas I had conveniently added to my wardrobe by stealing and raiding on b's tee's and amzi's jammies.. 9 months of Silly and the last trimester of pregnancy.. Nothing but jammies for a year!! You look at me now in my lovely lucknawi kadai, kota check, patchwork and shaded sari with the Guerlain powdered kohl and Celtic jewellery in tow you would bat your lids a few thousand times (never mind the adipose tissue flouncing from all ends and the angry strain in the voice) at the idea of jammies but buddy - been there n done that.

She is the one to blame to getting me hooked on to semi-precious and precious stones.. The sapphires and blue topaz melting me each time I see newer designs cast in them.. And now after seeing Blood Diamond I've sworn off diamonds.. Di's hubby always said it out loud about the rationing of diamonds which is why he'd get her sapphires from Brazil and Murano glass jewellery from the island but never diamonds.. And it all makes sense now after seeing Leo D'Cap with rippling muscles, strange accent and half shut (or half open) eyes.. But speaking about jewellery - May is the month when I design and set 10 pieces for myself to make up for the lack of motivation and inspiration (retail therapy baby 24/7/365)

After all, its the price Timzi has to pay for all the hard work I need to put into my hair which I've always had to have long due to the list of crazy men(the dad bro n hub) in my life (add my mom in law to the list who fell in love with me only cos of hip long tresses - somebody shoot me!! please!!) 3 times a week oiling and then deep conditioning and then protein treatments with power doses not to mention 6 monthly visits to the salon for 6 hrs either for straightening or highlighting.. I mean I don't care how feminine you are but how do you justify sitting still in the damn revolving chair and sippin on herbal tea and pee'in endlessly ejaculating it 20 days later still 20 times a day for 6 goddamn long hours of hell? I have to go for one of these excruciating appointments soon.. Amzu noticed a shade of purple that the swine himself put on my hair during Holi.. This despite the full on champi but in defence of Parachute nariyal tel it was really timzi's fault who'd come close under the rain fountains to hold me and silly and shake our tushies to Sean Paul and malofy God knows what keechadwalay rang some kid had given him to attack Silly.. But Silly had loadsa fun that day with the 3 different water guns, one as a backup reservoir and the colors - he looked adorable.. He kept politely wishing everyone Happy Holi before he'd attack them with whatever ammunition he had - gel colors, powdered rang or pichkari.. He even took the pichkari to school and caught his teachers in a few scary moments that they recorded.. As tradition Silly's Holi clothes from each year get saved and wrapped in muslin which I intend to make a wall-hanging of it some day when I give him away to the witch he'd end up starting a family with :-( Hopefully it'd be a witch not a wizard..

Like amzi says you can only wish that their journey is painless but the choices are still always their own.. Philosophy from a comedian.. Thats rich!!

POV's

superman is weak and recovering but has been rid of extraneous malignant cellular growth.. (die you damn cells die!! thats your fate - yeah!!)

ring is still lost but hopefully it'll help somebody else much poorer get married..

tv's gone and we now realise the power of small old ancient things that mum stores and we whine about.. her tv which is 20 yrs old is whats making this house functional..

'banana' (salil calls his bada nana - banana) has his toe amputated cos of diabetes goin haywire but hey he's finally outta the hop-ee-tall.. 2 weeks to get back to normal..

we're all going for matha-tek to amritsar in june and timzi, silly n i are doin alaska in october.. watch this space for inherently boring details and minute observations till tears of boredom cause a common cold and affliction of eyesight problem..

hey maybe this year isn't so bad after all.. i reacquainted with reality i guess :)

the bitch-fest is gonna resume next post on pee-polls!!!

Deliberate delusions..

i have a thing for two letter headings and subjects.. with nothing in the same nature but yet have some kind of weird pull when fit together.. this topic has taken birth from one such virus im afflicted by.. anyway while going through my mp3 folder trying to find a suitable song for the mood i found an oxymoron.. masti - dil de diya hai.. have you heard the song? its beautiful and i doano how such a gem came into such a crappy movie's song list.. khair..

my superman has prostrate cancer and is going through surgery tomorrow.. i've been telling amzu its a small deal.. go in and come out.. like a little potato-like fibroid being excavated from the system but its shit scary.. my superman puts on a brave front for everyone and only amzu's been spending time with him and his wisecracks.. i wasn't even allowed to officially have 'knowledge'.. silly spoke with him on phone today and told him he'd get his remote control car for the owwie in the 'hop-ee-tall'.. i tried to find out why? superman works out like a crazy human and controls diet better than any naturopath hospital.. but things happen..

i lost my wedding ring last week.. what do i make of it? i know its stolen and i know who stole it but i cant point fingers because it was some phone rep who i allowed to enter my household at the same time silly needed to use the washroom..

last month the new lcd was cracked to bits when silly went thru anger management.. i was away for 2 mins on a fone call with superman..

this year hasnt started on a good note..

ADSL - 4 letter word I abhor!!

Yet again, the telephone exchange cross-connected me with this dude.. Some guy who has a fax machine and has had his number crossed with mine.. Ridiculous - we take messages for each other and transfer them.. It was so bad we actually met for coffee one day so we could shriek at the MTNL divisional engineers, sub-divisional area heads etc together to make an impact.. It got worse this time.. My phone line got crossed and was dead.. DEAD!! No internet for 5 days either.. I was shell shocked.. Bechara amzi got the brunt of it.. He was preparing for his check flights and I was home to make sure buddy was sticking to his diet.. My social life was a zero cos of the diet food regulation and amzi being in town.. My other land line is screwy in any case and my mobile rings constantly so I always have it hidden to avoid calls till Im in the zone to make one.. Christ - I know Im convoluted and if you just figured it out you're as brain dead as I am so buzz off?!!

I saw the last date I wrote a post and I've decided I'm gonna write little passages inspired by whatever it is.. Could be a weird headline on an old Jay Leno show Ive caught up with on brightcove.com or even some phrase I've discovered akin to 'a daniel come to judgement'.. But Ill write soap opera style-ish passages and see how excruciatingly verbose and humdrum my writing can actually be.. The current state of being in candor is on full on display with the passage below (Im sorry I said it to you this way baby)

Isolation, Desolation, Inanimate..

Disconnection has set in.. I feel withdrawn into my own tiny crevice that I had protected
from the evil eyes of the world.. Im lost within it and I yearn to stay lost in it.. Lost
as if I have no concept of the passage of time.. No urgencies, no attachments.. Just a sense
of being.. Consumed by nothingness, surrounded by hollow shadows..

I want to be devoid.. Devoid of this hole I feel in the center of my chest that's relegating
its being to my entire conscience..

I need you.. I need you in the most desperate way that you cannot even fathom.. What do
I do with this aching anguish thats burying me to my grave whilst Im still gasping for a
few breaths in thin air.. rescue me, salve me.. I need a soul and my name's written on yours..
I now know that.. I have felt it beckon and writhe me in pain.. At the very least, its the
only element you can not hide, runaway or abscond from..