Venus VS stupid MARS!!

i believe in never-never land with tinker bell and peter pan.. i honest to god do believe that ya'know?

but i dont believe in women are from a different planet and the chicken noodle soup or whatever else self help crap thats out there.. i am me i am ok and despite virginia wolff bein crazy and havin written that i still hold that as my own borrowed funda..

i miss the small pleasures of life.. the simple things like a hug or a kiss.. holding hands or crossing a road together.. opening doors or being courteous.. i miss those.. when you know a person in forever and u live with them forever you end up being told - baby this is fun for those who are in brand new.. but i want brand new relatively more often than once a decade and im sorry..

what am i rambling on about you ask? well i shall answer my loveys -

i miss when its not all about the humpa humpa and more about the look and the twinkle in the eye.. i miss the efforts made to move mountains earlier when now a few potential hours you could spend together seem like too much effort cos hey ill catch up with them in 5 days anyway.. whats the difference.. i miss when half or more the action was in the kiss instead of meandering on about the entire length of the body.. i miss the hand in the hair and the simple head resting on the shoulder.. those are things that are more important to me than trying out kamasutra position number 32 or whatever.. i dont care that i dont know what the latest term for rear ended fascination is.. if that makes me 'dull' and uncool so be it.. but i want to hold hands while driving and i want to nuzzle in the shower together.. i want to sleep in the nook of his arm and i want him spooning against me and falling to sleep.. oh and i want an 'i love u' as often as i can get it in a day so yes that does add up to at least one a day..

yes siree thats what i want and if i dont get enough of that then ill smother and mollycoddle sillytush to get all the lovin n huggin i can get cos he is STILL a baby and i will ALWAYS be his mom and nobody in this room can tell me im goin overboard!!

p.s: timzi - baby i lied about writing on the waterfall sequence.. you can unblush and get back to normal programming now ;-)

p.p.s: for those of you who do read my vented frustrations - next one is gonna be on annihilating the insect species and turnin into vegetarians so if it aint ur cuppa tea - SCRAM!! but if it does sound palatable come back n check in a week cos me bein' travellin' for a wee now.. hey you - scoot over i need room to relaxin like milkha singh:-(

Return to the *&%$^

ye kya hua
tere mere pyaar ki baatein
kyu duniya ki nazron mei aa gaiee
hayyyy...

this number keeps lulling through my head slowly driving me numb and insane till i have it on a repeat loop.. if you guys havent heard this please get it - its by partners in rhyme or dj aman.. b sings this so beautifully when he is concentrating working and its running in the background..

ima gonna see happy feet tomorrow!!!! they have some sortta baby expo so sillytush & i are both goin in free.. yeayyyyy.. anything on sale or free catches my attention.. and its one big thing timzi hates about me.. he says just cos its a sale price dunnit mean its free ya'know.. i get it i get it but the thrill of gettin s'thing at less than 50% of sticker price is such a turn on.. i love showin off my steals n deals to b.. he gets how i excited i am :-) i just make sure i tell amit - baby i liked it and i bought it and i dont bother telling him how it was such a deal cos he'd whoop my ass into shape :-( and muh mommy would support him cos she thinks i over-spend.. i do NOT!! (imma girl.. we need variety and things to keep lookin all prim n propah for the man ya'know)

we went for the parade over the weekend.. i love that about this city.. i love that they make it so kid friendly.. i love that they make things so special for the kids.. they had a parade with the mayor et all and all the different companies advertising with huge trucks movin on the downtown streets which was closed for 2 hrs.. i - the cleanliness freak - was sittin on the road sippin cocoa b made for me and sallikunti was sippin his.. b was holdin sanshu's pram.. and the firefighter came n spoke with silly and shook his hand.. gave him a gummi sour apple candy too.. sushy got a flag too which he called the canada flag and did the holding his hand to his heart - o canada - and waved it when the people tryin to promote us for the commonwealth games went by.. even now he takes his bigger gun and tries to twirl it like a baton cos he saw the cheerleaders do it.. b said that it looked like i had more fun takin a picture of the clown who ruffled sanshu's hair cos he was screamin so happily.. im gonna use that as a postcard when i cross the london airport to mail out to timzi.. i think its romantic and if u guys beg to differ you may continue to beg.. dunnit bother me much ya'know? ;-)

anyway - im depressed.. i dont wanna go back to the native 'motherland' :-( im gonna miss b and home and driving and tim horton's coffee!!! :-( please maintain a 1 minute period of silence to mourn the loss of clean air, good traffic signals and beautiful weather for me :-( thank you :-(

*disappearing in the smog of des*

1 to 2 for the very last few..

OK - I have a lotta girlfriends who form my 'inner circle' who I need to have married off and settled for my own peace of mind.. I have a couple of male friends too but this is the thing.. I refuse to call it anythin cheesy and rosy-eyed like shaadi.com, instead I'd like to name it inhell.com - which is really the way it should be.. SO who out of yo'll wanna be cofounders of this beautifully surreal (NOT) organization that helps my unwed friends discover what true un-bliss is all about? Help me!!!! 'Cos all the good boys seem to be married off with a string of affairs on the side or they've just turned into bad boys :-( Its quite ironical really cos before Timzi I had only male friends with a sparse population of females filtering in by the iotas.. And now I have only the Jurassic Park obstacle.. All females!!!!

I have this close friend who is a sister of a guy I once dated.. He was one of the only men who actually did the whole bended knees routine with the perfect set up - ocean view inside of an old fort, a picnic basket, him strumming the guitar with food he cooked for the two of us cos it was my birthday.. Soft toys, a scarf and a perfume and him poppin the question.. The others were quite useless with not enough half decent proposals but Timzi's took the cake.. An order issued - Marry me!! Not even a question that I got to answer after almost a year of incommunicado.. But that's not the point Im driving at.. Im just wondering how is it easy to let bygones be bygones?

How do you forget the first adrenalin rush of a new relationship developing.. The first time you hold hands in winter time with your mitten almost getting lost in the trudgeon of sludge on the road as he escorts you for your first dinner out on Valentines? How do you forget the way he carried you cos you didn't have shoes on - instead only bunny slippers - across the road to the drugstore in the middle of a snowstorm just so that he could make up to you by feeding you icecream in the middle of the night.. How do you forget the handmade card he perfectly created for you of Calvin with a chart of rising scales of economy and everything pertaining to you - it looked so perfect you actually that it was store bought.. How do you forget him surprising you by suddenly landing up on your doorstep from the other side of the country, discovering the way to your home simply by etching out his heartbeats when he was there a few years ago.. How do you forget a different form of romance by him sending across a trashcan full of goodies - snacks and savories via courier from a city he moved to, to be closer to you.. How do you forget the bouquet of an array of Lindtt chocolates with a coffee mug for a huge cafe au lait to remind u of your first coffee date.. How do you forget the painting he made with his own hands of you holding winnie the pooh's hand, where pooh was customized with a cowboy hat to signify it was him and his love of country music.. How do you forget the single rose he waited to give you after you finished work at 9pm just because you were being an adamant ass about something that was unimportant anyway.. How do you forget his rebellious attitude when he plastered your pictures all across his room despite his parents disapproval.. How do you forget the kiss on the forehead when he was practicing his hoops or even him remembering each day to get you your quota of lemon and sour green apple jolly ranchers.. How do you forget him making mithai for you and couriering your birthday gift a little too late just because he wanted to get the recipe right.. How do you forget the drive that drove u mad inside sending you butterflies in your stomach of wondering - what have I done - when he flew you down the spiraling roads and Lion's gateway to heaven.. How do you forget the kayaking and the walk in the park and him aching to be near you and you teasing him along.. How do you forget the insane 2 hour fone calls to catch up on the mundane details of the day.. How do you forget the obsession oh him seeing you with your hair down that you even forgot how to wear scrunchies any longer.. How do you forget the sound a guitar makes when its strummed to dull the pain of your heart race because thats what you connect him with.. How do you forget the first bouquet of your favorite flowers in white and blue arrive on your doorstep anonymously.. How do you forget the perfect Christmas greeting made in flash customized entirely for you by a guy who stood no chance of a future with you and knew it.. How do you forget the concerned phone call when you are with aught else just to make sure you are in the best state you possibly can be cos its your choice.. How do you forget the sound of his voice at 3 am when you call him out of the blue from some Godforsaken airport across the world just because.. How do you forget - the hidden lovers, the eulogy of a relationship, the aftermath of what seemed like a lifetime of togetherness..

How do you become - insensitive..

c0c0L0c0 - CRAZY, just plain CRAZY!

Jann Arden Insensitive.. Ama-frikkin-zing.. 'nuff said..

On a more amusing note state of current affairs are as so -

I saw this guy in the frootique - d shiznit!! Lord have mercy but this Mediterranean boy looked like as if he was outta catalogue of - God has paid personal attention - smooth beautiful silky skin.. no sign of stubble.. small little tuft of hair below his bottom lip and curly sortta auburn hair.. broad shouldered.. 5 10ish with deep set greenish brown eyes that lit up when he was askin the dude to add in the different elements into his salad bowl.. Long fingers with perfectly filed nails and a beautifully chiseled nose..

I was standing in line right behind him with a friend and Saleesh.. I couldn't help but stare and I was constantly reminded not to.. And the nut of the dude on the counter started his flirting routine right there - asking me out for halloween and I pointed to Sallitot.. He said they needed a midget with a white sheet to play Casper the friendly Ghost and if I had any more excuses that he needed to defy.. I had to give him the - are you outta your bitter red cabbage mind you freak of nature - look..

And then Salil happened to have a sore throat so I took him to the friendly next door neighbor Doc.. And there was this college footballer - a true blue eyed blond hair jock - God!!! Ben Affleck kindda lookin ya'know? And Timzi looks like Benny dearest or the desi version Akshay Kumar.. Actually he looks better than both of them!! And considerin' he's all the way away in Europe and I haven't seen muh man in a month and some more I was melting on the spot.. I became a woman from a mother to a teenager with butterflies and weird giggles.. God just gifts these people and troubles me by making me wanna stare and be imprisoned for indecent exposure (by my eyes of those gorgeous folk.. what the hell were you thinkin you perv?!) or maybe even lewd behavior..

Timzi please make yourself available constantly.. Dont wanna stray on you with someone who looks just like you.. That'd be painful punishment for useless garbage :-(

You see back in the native homeland -India - I don't drive.. I have a driver cos of the insane way people drive.. NYC seems so much more sensible with its perpendicular streets and avenues and the mayhem at LHR airport seems like childs play in comparison.. So I catch up for the lack of it when Im home here in the land of Canucks.. And thus starts this story of subwoofing.. My little sweety baby sits behind and dances away to the music while I have my windows rolled down, shades on, sunroof open, and music blaring.. I have no idea where this little babboon picks up his moves but believe you me he teaches me a step or two.. And I simply swerve the steering with the one hand not botherin with the next door car and the dude who picks his nose or scratches his balls.. I look on straight with no expression as wisps and wasps of my hair fly by me and I dont even notice the woman in the car on the right doing her make up and lickin her scab on the arm off.. I "subwoof" at traffic lights and fail to pay attention to friends zippin by wavin their arms and legs out.. I drive without heed and without care.. I zip through lanes and flirt my way out of parking/speeding tickets.. Sometimes I drive when Saleesh is asleep behind just to watch the frosted icicles on the bare trees refract or even to zoom past by this road where the trees converge on from either sides in their beautiful yellowy red maple leaves.. I drive because some of my best memories are in the car..

One of my fave car songs is Massari - be easy.. As soon as he says Dom Perignon Sil does this little curvy move.. Anyway, B has a shitloada his music which he is bored of now and I was introduced to him by aught else who is the slavelord of all sortsa music.. I think sometimes its all the sights and sounds he introduces me to that I just crumble and fall as a slave to his charm and lure and spend all my energy.. You guys may know him as the Tommy Hilfiger boutique - the clothes are divine (thus the sights?) and the music they play there is so groovalicious you wouldn't need to visit a club to shake your bon-bon ;-) But this better be the end of this insane entry to diary dearest 'cos I think I'm goin totally off track..

Word out (Peace out u nutjobs..)

Drabness Extremioso

Sooooo... the long weekend is just over.. Doano when it began and when it ended but I had a fantastic time.. We went for a little excursion and didn't get as much of a chance to explore the city but we sure as hell had fun in the train!! Yeap Sanshu (the baby?!) wanted to go on a choo choo train and there was no way he was taking the local trains in Bombay and I sure as hell cannot afford the Deccan Odyssey or Palace on Wheels or so says Amzi Timzi.. Soooo we went on the train here.. and Im tellin you folks it was very bloody fantastic.. A pain in the ass considering how long it takes but with the nice comfy seats with loadsa leg room and a lounge car for kiddie movies (Salli was watchin Over the Hedge and I was readin Amir Ali!) and a dining car where you can enjoy the natural beauty (without having to smell horse poop - Yeay!!) - Im tellin you - simply friggin amazin!!

So anyway I had a *lot* of time and I mean loadsa time so I was charting out the basic tenets I go by in my life.. You see Im a pretty easy going person (dont ask the friends and relatives - they are temporarily deranged) so no codes of conduct I go by except I hate lying.. Honest to God I do.. Its just that the people in my life compel me to do so like for instance these would be the obvious lies despite which these very same people ask me the very same questions and force me I mean push me into lying man :-(

Pop: You have a cold, don't you? Do you want me to take the next flight out? I'll take care of you!! You have a cough!!!
Me: (Jeez Dad relax.. I aint dyin!!) Dad you're getting old relax.. You're hearing things.. I just got done yelling at Salikuntin..

Mom: You're out shopping for clothes again aren't you? Why do you wanna burn money on clothes.. Look at your overflowing wardrobes!!
Me: (At least I dont hold onto things that are 30 freakin years old!! Big brothers and sisters are on my speed dial) Moo when's the last time you saw me in something new? Im just getting stuff for Timzi's family..

Timzi: You were staring at the biker!! I saw you - you think he's all that and then some don't you?
Me: (I have eyes you know - cant become blind when the peripheral view is outta this world!!) You moron.. I was looking at your face turning into a curvy smile with that little crevice around your lower lip.. Its so adorable and cute *kiss kiss*

B: Did you call XYZ and get your work done?
Me: (We have been through this for years.. Get a clue mr. blue!!) Of course I did.. I returned their call but reached the voicemail so left a message..
The above btw is the biggest joke in our family :-(

A close friend: You have changed!! Earlier you wouldn't as much as contemplate about their lack of existence and now you're actually speaking to that mad woman despite everything?
Me: (I hate doing it in any case.. quit reminding me fool :( ) Nawhh I just had to do that for Timzi's sake ya'know? Comes under the protective clause of 'family friends'

Dee: Please please please say that this is acceptable.. I simply fell in love with it for Silly..
Me: (Dude you gotta be joking.. Just gave me a flash of my maternal ancestors in their jazzy out there apparel.. you gotta be kidding me!!) Of course it is.. It's just that Timzi might think its a bit over the top ya'know?

Anyway you all get the basic gist of it.. Coming to tastes and preferences I was recently enlightened by a close quarter and a not so close counterpart that my 'signature' style is "dull".. Me? Dull? Hello have you not known me at all? B says he has to change my style and gets me this aubergine satin shirt to try on - I mean really I don't need to be rescued from the North Pole that I need to stand out with this color ya'know? (It looked pretty on me but I just couldn't handle the color) I tried to reach a sense of middle ground and told him to get me blue, brown, gray, black or white but aubergine? Violet? Oh God NO!!!!

Anyway I guess I am dull.. My home is dull.. My clothes are dull but my son loves me just the way I am.. My husband thinks Im a hottie (he needs to be away from me more often - its working wonders ;-) ) and my Dad thinks Im the prettiest baby in the universe so everybody else can just BITE ME!!

Mood for the day: mordantly parsing

I was chatterin and babblin away on long distance today with a friend of mine as if I owned the long distance carrier company.. I was nuts but strangely like the other alien nutzoids of the planet I was blitherin on about Saleesh's (thats my sons new nickname) first episode of trick a treating.. Now mind you I wanted to dress him up in a pink tutu, with butterfly wings, a magic wand (he would be a 'fairy' in this outfit dont you think?), a tiara and of course pink ballet flats but the chauvinism around me doesnt end :-( Timzi was beggin please don't scar our son and B just put his foot down.. Goddammit its a heavy foot OK? I don't have the guts to defy him.. Not yet anyway.. Have to develop resilience.. Cmon baby you can do it (Self-motivation reminds me that I need to become Deepak Chopra.. Shit man who pays for that kindda stuff? If you can make money doin' that Id be more infamous than Paris Hilton and own more money than Uncle Gates!!)

Anyyyyyway...

So sonshu (keep up this is *now* the new nick for my son!) had naptime comin up and was frustrated with the headgear of the Dino costume (he ended up wearin a hybrid of a blue dino costume with pink butterfly wings replete with the wand and tiara) and he wanted it off but when he saw his fellow accomplice with the princess meets wizard pink hat he calmed his dino tail down.. He said the appropriate thank you's between tryin to get his bag to open right and stowing away his wand whilst knockin on the door and scamperin behind my tush when he heard a dog bark.. And he also smiled effectively when he was called a dino or a dragon but worse dragonfly all the same.. Dude gimme the candy and get back to your programmin.. I got other houses to hit already.. Im 2 and I can't walk around this humangous block with your freakin palatial homes only so much ya'know? Nawh he's too pious and innocent to think that but hey, mebbe not cos one lady took so long that he had one look at the candy bowl which she had for viewing when she opened the door that he said "Aunty police hai" and scrammed when he heard the siren!!! I was stuck doin' the explainin that he had the fear of God with sirens (The "Police" and the "roach" are the only two things that I can use to emotionally blackmail to have him do what I want) I had to resign to the fact that the world at large will shortly start wonderin if we was criminals considerin this mornin when he saw an army dude in his commando (NOT COMMMANDO COMMANDO you perv!!!) uniform he again ran back towards the car away from the magic land of the grocery store screamin police hai police hai!!! Jeesh!!! Speakin of the cops - I wanted to voice out s'thin on a serious note today..

Albeit late I watched Lord of War today finally.. I have to be honest I missed the first bit which Im gonna make up for tomorrow but at the same time the length that I saw left me helpless wanting to do or feel something but not knowing what.. Like for some reason the cable channels like Sony and Zee constantly play the movie Nayak.. Its been 3 years but they still do it almost once every month but does it affect us in any manner to do anything? Its a good movie - and we walk out feeling nothing but letting the cold immunity we have surrounded ourselves with take over.. I used to be moved when I saw a hurt child, a handicapped old person on the street lights.. Today I turn my face when an older kid spanks the baby for it to cry so she can earn enough money whilst begging.. I turn my face when a boy of not more than 4 scrapes his foot on the sewer and is wailing cos God forbid I reach 2 mins late to pick up my own baby from playschool.. I turn my face when I feel horrid and I wonder how many of you still have it in you to at least be humane enough to feel horrid.. I know Timzi doesnt.. He has been exposed to this all his life.. It may as well be a bumped coke can on the road for all he cares.. He hardly even notices and this is the man who can shed tears because he misses me..

Lord of War.. I asked B what he felt and didn't it make him feel like punching something, someone? Didn't it make him feel contemplative? Something anything? I was fishing for a reaction and I got it - Im a helpless lone ranger.. What can I feel or do?

Yes the same Lord of War had a blaring punchline.. A punchline thats turned me on after years.. The 5 nations who rule the roost of selling arms are the 5 nations who have permanent places in the UN peace council..

Watch Lord of War if you haven't already but please - feel something.. It could be anything -

positive (Vitaly Orlov: [in Russian] Oh God! Yuri Orlov: [voice-over] Always resort to your native tongue in times of anger. And in times of ecstasy. )

negative (Yuri Orlov: They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails.")

sarcastic (Angel: My name is Angel. Vitaly Orlov: Her name really is Angel! Let's put her on the Christmas tree!)

hilarious (Andre Baptiste Sr.: They say that I am the lord of war, but perhaps it is you. Yuri Orlov: I believe it's "warlord." Andre Baptiste Sr.: Thank you, but I prefer it my way.)

self help (Yuri Orlov: Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.)

heart wrenching (Ava Fontaine: I feel like all I've done my whole life is be pretty. I mean, all I've done is be born! I'm a failed actress, a failed artist... I'm not much good as a mother. Come to think of it, I'm not even that pretty anymore. I have failed at everything, Yuri... but I won't fail as a human being.)

keep it safe (Yuri Orlov: In the most AIDS-infested region of the globe - where 1 in 4 is infected - Andy's idea of a joke was to put a young Iman and a young Naomi in my bed - and no condom within a hundred miles. )

thought provoking (Jack Valentine: Do you know why I do what I do? I mean, there are more prestigeous assignments. Keeping track of nuclear arsenels - you'd thing that more critical to world security. But it's not. No, nine out of ten war victims today are killed with assault rifles and small arms - like yours. Those nuclear weapons sit in their silos. Your AK-47, that's the real weapon of mass destruction.)

infallible fatal truth (Yuri Orlov: The reason I'll be released is the same reason you think I'll be convicted. I *do* rub shoulders with some of the most vile, sadistic men calling themselves leaders today. But some of these men are the enemies of *your* enemies. And while the biggest arms dealer in the world is your boss - the President of the United States, who ships more merchandise in a day than I do in a year - sometimes it's embarrassing to have his fingerprints on the guns. Sometimes he needs a freelancer like me to supply forces he can't be seen supplying. So. You call me evil, but unfortunately for you, I'm a necessary evil. )

but whatever it is just feel..