Mumbai Nagariya!!

Goddamnit!!

You take antibiotics for a stomach virus and its s'posed to take care of the throat infection.. But guess what? She lied!!

You pay through the nasal membranes of your nostrils for the D&G fabric to be tailored by this huge men's boutique and you expect it to look smashing.. But guess what? The black pinstripe on my 6 footer looked worse than my constipated excreta..

You get the best they got for your Internet connection and they somehow manage to have the connection break every 2 minutes which makes downloading mp3's worse than delivering babies.. Worse - when they try givin people new connections, they go out of their way and manage to screw your existing phone connection thereby the Internet goin all whoozy again..

You go to this so-called "5" star hotel into their swanky restaurant.. You specify less oil and less spices.. You'd think they'd get it.. Nope.. Instead you get finely cut green chillies as garnish on a layer full of floating oil and a fried red chilli on top of it. Fan-bloody-tastic.. There goes the unjinxed phase of the colon again.. This time it didnt even reach the "5" day mark..

You drive at 20kph on a normal road in Mumbai just minding your bees-wax and this moron comes slamming right into you.. He gives you his license when you ask for it but when you ask for the insurance papers he scrams.. I mean hey wtf? You go to the cop place and they take 2 hrs to write down your complaint as if you're the wronger not the wronged.. And 10 days later when *you* the wronged go to inquire *you* are informed he is a poor dude from a poor family.. What would you like to have done once he is back in town.. YOU FRIKKIN JOKIN ME SUB INSP $%^&*!! Id like to slap him silly so the next time I sit in my little Zen I don't feel so unprotected.. Id like him to apologise at the least for chewing his tobacco when he was talking to me in arrogance.. Id like to ram a pole up his ripped rear end and plastered there for eternity..

You go to pay your phone bill like good people do.. 2 days before the due date.. But they make you regret that too.. There's just one counter to take care of the 1 lakh+ numbers of this company.. Makes you feel like paying that extra Rs 5 as late fee and not having to stand in this frikkin line and doin it post the due date.

I have more cos I have been having a great day cant you tell? But I'll leave the rest for later.. Need more Oflox for the throat stupid piece of pharmaceutical crap!!