So I am en route back home to take a flight the very next day and what do I see? Airport and aircraft full of magazine cut-outs!! Perfectly manicured nails, pre-arranged fantastic combination of outfits and the latest Louis Vitton bag with of course the "devil"ish prada shoes.. "Fait accompli" that it would be one of my fantastic days when the girls couldn't pretty me up due to emergency and sans make-up I looked pretty rather plain jane.. The IFS (In Flight Supervisor) glanced at me about a million times - a Captain's wife? you don't even have the last name.. Goddammit you old fat rotundous moron look at my son's boarding pass.. WHAT DOES IT SAY YOU BLIND BAT!!!

Tomorrow he may see me again and he's gonna be blown away.. I'm gonna have my aldo shoes (whats prada?) express jeans (whats diesel?) tommy tee (whats christian dior?) and matt n nicole bag (whats aigner?) and Im gonna have perfectly manicured (albeit short short) nails and make up (albeit smudged cossa my baby who gets antsy when he sees colors on my face) and attitude (although displaced trying to struggle with the pram/diaper bag/ purse/trolley bag AND the son!!) Was that just a feel-good thing or did I diss myself to the bone? I NEED MY CHAUFFEUR + BUTLER + SECRETARY whilst I travel.. Timzu where are you my love? :-(

Wish me luck cos my Indian-ness is gleaming to the core currently.. I have like a 110 kgs I can carry and Im still short about 10 kgs.. Go figure.. But in my own defence, its all cossa the big white elephant I call ze hubby.. I carrying ze Indian foods for him which transpire to lassis and mathris and chutneys galore.. Lord have mercy but its a 100 kgs!!! I just need some space for my trench coat :-( Whats with us and beggin for free luggage allowance anyway? Im gonna defy the rule and bypass the nicely put in comments by ze friends to allow ze excess baggage.. IM GONNA PAY FOR IT!!! I dont want no free lunches.. Oh who the hell am I kidding.. Id rather get a guerlain powdered kohl for the money I WONT pay for excess!!! To hell with the good samaritan shiets.. I give free lunches to at least a kid on the road each day and thats all the 'my bit' I am gonna do.. I aint no Preity Zinta or Pamela Anderson..

Im just Perfectly Santu!!!