I have the 'quan'?! I do!!

Elvis Presley had his blue suede shoes, Jessica Simpson has her boots, Chris de Burgh had his lady in red, and I have the illusion of my too good to be true optical wear.. My latest materialistic appendage Im attached to at the hip.. yes currently Im 'bespectacled'..

So anyway Biyu n I got into this headlock about correction laser surgery to get rid of the dependence on my glasses.. The real reasons aside the more superficial yet heart rendering one is my relatively newly acquired tortoise shell frames.. It camouflages my dark circles.. I can come across as a all business no fun serious pole up the ass, and I can even play it down to look like a kid (minus the stress lines on the skin) in pigtails and wanna-be-grown-up glasses.. But yeah, theyre more than a remedy for lens handicaps of one of the most important senses.. They function as the best fashion accessory Ive ever owned.. Yet another advertising marketing personnel kindda spectacles that ami bemoans but ones that frame my face well.. It keeps all my features in perspective including my rather long nose and narrow cheekbones.. I can tie up my hair like a school marm and have my glasses on and still look reasonably passable.. I can drop Sol to school in pajamas on a bad day with my glasses on and pass off the look of an intellectual busy soccer mom.. I can have a bad skin n hair day but with the tortoise shell the glitches fade away.. Yes its my fixer upper.. It makes me happy just to have em on.. Leave aside the fact that it cures half my headaches away and puts it at bay.. Thus saving the bill for the umpteen crocins and tylenols I need to pump myself up with.. Although it does take away the excuse for coffee deprivation :(

Sooooo.. I watch a lot of movies.. I breathe food and eat movies.. And I am the happiest given the quotas of these two subjects for me are in satiated natures..

I had watched Zindaggi Rocks a long time ago.. Don't know if it found a way into something I blithered about earlier.. But yesterday it was running on the cable and I got Ami to watch it.. Of course the nerd that he is, he had to qualify his 'wastage of time' by checking the reviews so he was aware that it was a tragedy.. I fell in love with Sushmita Sen all over again.. That role was tailor made for her.. And theres this song - humko chhoonay paas.. Of course another one of my 'endearing' traits is to get obsessed with a song and have it on constant replay mode for say a whole buncha days, maybe even a couple of weeks.. Part of the aura that makes my intensity so extreme dude (Im camouflaging personality disorders into pretty words.. Im good with language cant you see).. So as Im writing this blog post Im listening to the song.. Such is the need to listen to it all times that I spent 2 hours wondering why I couldn't upload it on the phone and when I was sleeping I had it playing with headsets on.. No this isn't insanity.. This is called ' passion'.. And anyone who claims otherwise has a weak heart with no loyalties and true callings to one's own..

Whilst on the subject of creatures created to disrupt perfect harmony in a well organized life only to create chaos - kids, have I mentioned anywhere over here that I'm now the proud recipient of the miracle that God calls daughters.. I of course think I was the biggest pain in the arse for my folks.. But this angel seems so unlike me.. She stole my heart even when I had made up my mind I wouldn't let it get all crumbled into pieces again.. Im lost in my loyalties with Sol.. Can't help falling for her simple smile and gurgle whenever I pass her around and I look at Solly's face telling me that I haven't cuddled him into bed since so long, I haven't held him in my lap and hugged him for insane amounts of time, I haven't been this mother eternal version with him, I haven't kissed him till the two of us have tears rolling down our face.. But I want him to naturally understand at his tender age of 4 that he will always be my first love and he has my heart in his closed fist.. But he's a good kid nonetheless.. He keeps drooling on Kai like a puppy would at his new acquisition.. He has also become a fantastic cook for brownies.. He can even set the temperature with the minutes on the oven.. The women he dates better thank me..

And the man who dated, dined and wed me better thank the heavens that I missed *one* of my callings - architecture.. Else I'd have my hands in more pies than I do currently and that wouldn't be such a pretty picture for my paleolithic, neanderthal, old fashioned, child at heart husband.. But I do make it a point to now catch up on the latest in the field and try and amalgamate as much knowledge on the subject to make up for the lack of guts to keep up with algebra, trigonometry, calculus and some such.. Math is not my forte as would be obvious else the heart wouldn't be served on a platter each and every common stance occasion..

So while I do a mind boggling calculation on current events and status of them - I am relieved to say jet lag is slowly dissipating post beautiful vacation.. Im coming to terms being a 'housewife' but refuse to be addressed as anything but homemaker.. Im beginning to hate the 'occupation' part of official forms but I swallow the bitter pill slightly easily than I did earlier.. And Im beginning to contemplate new occupations.. The 'go to' person would be one such.. Which school, what forms, plus's minuses.. Which street, what crossing, which by lane, for ostrich leather custom made shoes.. etc etc.. Some place to put use to all this redundant info I have acquired and assimilated in my being caged in this city..

I watched Serendipity all over again.. Wasn't enough that I had watched a million times on TBS at first being subjugated to it unwillingly and then slowly falling in love with the manicorn - John Cusack- for every slight winch in his face.. For his disheveled hair and his long frame and gait.. I absolutely love the song - dont wanna love in vain - and Kate Beckinsale has the very same hair coloring that I desire.. And of course I wish I wrote and spoke like the charlie who is supposed to be the best friend, brother, first wife all in one.. Satire doesnt come easy and humor is a trait I better have left for those with thick rhino skin who can throw muck at themselves and still have a throaty laugh.. One of these days Im gonna pick it up too.. Just you wait and watch..

But anyway the writer in me is at a juncture where Im perplexed about a connect in a plot.. Is the protaganist more humiliated when asked to leave somebody else's haven for sanctity of peace.. Or is she more slighted when told to pay rent for her own home by family? Because at the end of the day the value of one emotion is described only by something better and worse to give it the rating of being on what end of the richter scale..

April - I await you breathlessly.. I cant wait for you to transport me home.. April - come soon, I need to breathe again.. April - I feel like a child owned and disowned.. April - render me unconscious..

I'll be back home now only in April 2009! :-(

Love letters

I'm not gonna be archaic and consider only inked letters on paper as love letters but something as inane as a post it or placard come under the BIG branch of love letters for me..

I'm a romantic at heart.. Forgive me if this is too sappy and lacks the usual doom of banishing the entire gamut of miscreants but love letters are all around us..

I finally finally FINALLY ended up watching the Sex & the City film a couple days ago.. Its how Sarah Jessica mentions the book of Love Letters from the Great Men of the world that got me thinking.. And finally much alike her inbox, the last love letter had an uncanny resemblance.. STOP - don't go any further and scroll right down to the end and begin bottom wards up.. Get a coffee, put on some Dean Martin, perch up your legs on a chair and let the flimsy breeze of a melancholy wind touch you and fly by..

I've been literally serenaded when I was oceans away.. daily although seemingly boring events laced with perfect comic timing were sent as quirky emails and a whole entire program written involving graphics when technology wasn't as easy to grasp as is today.. So much more prettier than your regular flowers and chocolates fanfare..

I've regaled colossal hours on end about miniscule details on long distance phone calls when there wasn't any competition in the telecom market and the both of us paying unsurmountable bills to compensate for not being able to 'date' in the same time zone..

There have been crazy dramatic sms's - some short, some long.. prolific but meaningful and some saved for over 9 years to the extent that I refuse to discard the phone lest I lose the phone on which I received the particular sms..

I've had an erratic frantic phone call in school when cell phones werent the adage of the day.. all because I felt highly perky and sent off a cheeky email pretending to be hurt.. And of course the caller again was some 10 states away from me..

I've had to gather and surmise from various sources said and unsaid things, reflections of my life aired out on national television, about a relationship that never took birth because neither of us thought the 'runaway bride' would finally give in..

I've always loved the particular Parker ink pen because its black ink scribbled in terse emotive small script across rammed notepad sheafs spelt the reason why this man would become the most pristine period of my life..

The most simplest thing like inscribing a book with just a few simple words took my breath away.. And this coming from the most verbose human on the planet (moi) seems a little strange..

An actual pen and paper letter to do all with aircrafts and the flying routine cos the man had no idea how to express himself except drawing parallels from the thrill of flying to our puppy love..

A card based on a cartoon character involving all facets of my life with the pre packaged hallmark of the bar code drawn on..

An actual poem from a brooder that I came across accidentally..

An ode on a public portal under veils lest identities collide..

A simple email - I miss you..

These signs of affection rehearse their effect like old wine and remain with me forever.. I simply have to draw on them to feel incapacitated like I feel right now..